{"id":285,"date":"2024-02-19T15:08:09","date_gmt":"2024-02-19T15:08:09","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/emagination.sk\/?p=285"},"modified":"2024-02-20T07:50:13","modified_gmt":"2024-02-20T07:50:13","slug":"chlpate-cudo","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/emagination.sk\/?p=285","title":{"rendered":"Chlpat\u00e9 \u010dudo"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>K\u00fapili sme si chlpat\u00e9 \u010dudo teda psa. Niekedy na neho pozer\u00e1m a rozm\u00fd\u0161lam, \u017ee on m\u00e1 naozaj chlpy v\u0161ade. \u00c1no aj TAM! Najlep\u0161ie je, ke\u010f sa a\u017e TAM dostan\u00fa cez cel\u00fd tr\u00e1viaci trakt chu\u0165ove\u010dky, \u010do mlad\u00fd p\u00e1n popapal a vytvor\u00ed sa mu tam hovienkov\u00e1 skrum\u00e1\u017e v tvare ve\u013ekej gule, ktor\u00fa mus\u00edm ako v\u017edy JA zlikvidova\u0165. Vyzer\u00e1 to asi takto. Jeho veli\u010denstvo stoj\u00ed vo vani a tv\u00e1ri sa, \u017ee asi o 2,28 sekundy umrie. Ja zohnut\u00e1 nad n\u00edm s divn\u00fdm pocitom v kr\u00ed\u017eoch tesne pred vyvr\u00e1ten\u00edm lahodn\u00e9ho obeda, sna\u017eiac sa \u010do najviac preg\u013aga\u0165, lebo v\u0161ak obeda by bola \u0161koda. Mlad\u0161\u00ed obyvatelia bytu stojac vo dver\u00e1ch k\u00fapelne vyd\u00e1vaj\u00fac povzbudzuj\u00face povzdychy, \u017ee toto by oni ako\u017ee nikdy nerobili (jaaaj, pr\u00edde na ne mr\u00e1z, ke\u010f sa stretn\u00fa zo\u010di vo\u010di rekt\u00e1lnej ty\u010dinke, ke\u010f bud\u00fa zachra\u0148ova\u0165 svoju \u010derstvo naroden\u00fa ratoles\u0165) a star\u0161\u00ed obyvate\u013e bytu sediac v pohodl\u00ed gau\u010da v ob\u00fdva\u010dke vyjadruj\u00fac svoju spolupatri\u010dnos\u0165 so mnou svojsk\u00fdm sp\u00f4sobom, \u010di\u017ee vykrikuj\u00fac povzbudzuj\u00face hesl\u00e1, pri ktor\u00fdch sa \u010dloveku otv\u00e1ra no\u017e\u00edk vo vrecku a tlak rastie do nekone\u010dn\u00fdch v\u00fd\u0161in.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-large\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1024\" height=\"683\" src=\"http:\/\/emagination.sk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/02\/IMG_8652-1024x683.jpg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-154\" srcset=\"https:\/\/emagination.sk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/02\/IMG_8652-1024x683.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/emagination.sk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/02\/IMG_8652-300x200.jpg 300w, https:\/\/emagination.sk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/02\/IMG_8652-768x512.jpg 768w, https:\/\/emagination.sk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/02\/IMG_8652-1536x1024.jpg 1536w, https:\/\/emagination.sk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/02\/IMG_8652-2048x1365.jpg 2048w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p>Ale teda neodbiehajme od t\u00e9my. Jeho veli\u010denstvo sa vol\u00e1 Maximili\u00e1n I. ofci\u00e1lne. Famili\u00e1rne ho oslovujeme r\u00f4zne: Maxinko, Debil, To nemysl\u00ed\u0161 v\u00e1\u017ene, \u0147u\u0148o, Vajco, Muciprda, Smra\u010foch, Prasa, U\u017e \u0165a nikdy nechcem vidie\u0165, Mucino, Zlat\u00fach, Maxinoha, at\u010f.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-large\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1024\" height=\"683\" src=\"http:\/\/emagination.sk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/02\/IMG_8593-1024x683.jpg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-157\" srcset=\"https:\/\/emagination.sk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/02\/IMG_8593-1024x683.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/emagination.sk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/02\/IMG_8593-300x200.jpg 300w, https:\/\/emagination.sk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/02\/IMG_8593-768x512.jpg 768w, https:\/\/emagination.sk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/02\/IMG_8593-1536x1024.jpg 1536w, https:\/\/emagination.sk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/02\/IMG_8593-2048x1365.jpg 2048w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p>Maximil\u00e1n je chrabr\u00fd to pes v bezpe\u010dn\u00fdch priestoroch svojho obydlia. Vonku del\u00ed svojich spoluobyvate\u013eov na r\u00f4zne skupiny:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul>\n<li>Skupina \u2013 Mu\u017ei: 99 % mu\u017eov proste nem\u00e1 r\u00e1d<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Skupina \u2013 Deti: to tie\u017e ee<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Skupina \u2013 \u017deny: to m\u00f4\u017ee aj by\u0165<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Skupina \u2013 \u010clovek&nbsp;+ Pes: \u00e1no, to m\u00f4\u017ee by\u0165 (tu je jedno, \u010di p\u00e1ni\u010dek je mu\u017e alebo \u017eena)<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Skupina \u2013 Pes: oooooh \u00e1no, t\u00fato skupinu ve\u013emo \u013e\u00fabi<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Skupina \u2013 Mu\u017e&nbsp;+ \u017dena: v tomto pr\u00edpade m\u00e1 mu\u017e ak\u00e9 tak\u00e9 \u0161ance na pre\u017eitie<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>Maxinoha m\u00e1 tak\u00e9 tie svoje ritu\u00e1ly. Rann\u00fd ritu\u00e1l pozost\u00e1va z toho, \u017ee odvtedy ako vstanem, a\u017e k\u00fdm nejdeme von, ma prenasleduje po byte. Moja nervov\u00e1 s\u00fastava za\u017e\u00edva ve\u013emi kru\u0161n\u00e9 chv\u00edle, ke\u010f\u017ee jeho paz\u00fariky ne\u017ene klopkaj\u00fac o lamin\u00e1tov\u00fa podlahu \u0165ukaj\u00fa na moje u\u0161n\u00e9 bubienky. S\u00fa\u010das\u0165ou rann\u00e9ho ritu\u00e1lu je \u0148u\u0148\u00fa\u0161enie, kedy si Max str\u010d\u00ed polku m\u00f4jho predklaktia do papule a mus\u00edm ho \u0161kraba\u0165. Denn\u00fd ritu\u00e1l pozost\u00e1va z vyvalovania sa na r\u00f4znych miestach v byte, strh\u00e1vania pono\u017eiek zo su\u0161iaka, ohr\u00fdzania top\u00e1nok a bezodn\u00e9ho f\u0148ukania. Ve\u010der zase prich\u00e1dza \u0148u\u0148u f\u00e1za a Maxinka treba \u0161krabka\u0165 po mocnej, chlpatej hrudi.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Maxinko je havko \u013e\u00faben\u00fd, oddan\u00fd, poslu\u0161n\u00fd a prdiaci cel\u00fd de\u0148.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Ur\u010dite sa s n\u00edm e\u0161te stretnete!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>K\u00fapili sme si chlpat\u00e9 \u010dudo teda psa. Niekedy na neho pozer\u00e1m a rozm\u00fd\u0161lam, \u017ee on m\u00e1 naozaj chlpy v\u0161ade. \u00c1no aj TAM! Najlep\u0161ie je, ke\u010f sa a\u017e TAM dostan\u00fa cez<\/p>\n<p class=\"more-link\"><a href=\"https:\/\/emagination.sk\/?p=285\" class=\"readmore\">Pokra\u010dovanie&#8230;<svg class=\"icon icon-arrow-right\" aria-hidden=\"true\" role=\"img\"> <use href=\"#icon-arrow-right\" xlink:href=\"#icon-arrow-right\"><\/use> <\/svg><span class=\"screen-reader-text\">Chlpat\u00e9 \u010dudo<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":154,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"templates\/full-width-page.php","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"aioseo_notices":[],"featured_image_src":"https:\/\/emagination.sk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/02\/IMG_8652-scaled.jpg","author_info":{"display_name":"emagination","author_link":"https:\/\/emagination.sk\/?author=1"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/emagination.sk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/285"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/emagination.sk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/emagination.sk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/emagination.sk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/emagination.sk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=285"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/emagination.sk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/285\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":302,"href":"https:\/\/emagination.sk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/285\/revisions\/302"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/emagination.sk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/154"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/emagination.sk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=285"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/emagination.sk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=285"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/emagination.sk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=285"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}